Where Are You Right Now? A Simple Tool for Leadership Self-Awareness
In our leadership development journeys here at Gather and Grow, we support leaders in understanding the dynamics of power and perception—how we unconsciously fall into roles of the Drama Triangle and how we can shift into the Empowerment Dynamic, where we take ownership, coach others, and move forward with intention. These models offer powerful insights into how we engage with challenges.
But there’s an even simpler tool leaders can use to build their self-awareness—right now, today.
A single, unassuming horizontal line.
At any given moment, in any situation, you are either above the line or below the line.
The Model: Above the Line vs. Below the Line
📍 Above the Line: When we’re above the line, we are open, curious, and committed to learning. We see people and situations as allies, not obstacles. We ask questions, listen deeply, and explore possibilities instead of shutting them down.
📍 Below the Line: When we’re below the line, we are defensive, reactive, and committed to being right. We feel threatened—by a difficult conversation, an unexpected challenge, or even just a new way of thinking. We blame, justify, withdraw, or push back.
Why This Matters for Leaders
Leadership isn’t about never being below the line. We all go there. In fact, our brains are wired for it.
Any perceived threat—whether to our physical safety or just to our ego, authority, or sense of control—can send us into survival mode. This is why so many workplace conflicts feel more intense than they need to be. It’s not just the issue itself; it’s our instinctive reaction to protect ourselves.
The problem? When we’re below the line, we’re not at our best. Creativity, collaboration, and problem-solving all suffer. We’re too busy defending our position to actually move forward.
So what’s the alternative?
The Leadership Practice: Ask Yourself This Question
Instead of fighting to stay "right," try this:
Pause.
Notice.
Ask: Where am I?
If you’re below the line, don’t judge yourself. Just acknowledge it and get curious:
What am I feeling right now?
What story am I telling myself?
What do I believe I need to protect?
What would happen if I let go of being right and got curious instead?
The act of noticing—without self-judgment—is powerful. Because once you see where you are, you have a choice.
Tying It Back to Leadership Growth
Self-awareness is the first step in navigating complexity with clarity. Growth-oriented leaders practice locating themselves and choosing how they respond. At Gather and Grow, we believe that leadership is a journey—and the map starts with understanding where you are.
Now, it’s your turn.
Try This Simple Exercise:
Draw a line. Literally, grab a pen and sketch a horizontal line on a piece of paper.
Think of a recent scenario at work. Maybe it was a tough conversation, a moment of feedback, or a team challenge.
Ask yourself:
Where was I in that moment—above or below the line?
How do I know?
What thoughts, emotions, or behaviors signaled my position?
If I was below the line, what might have helped me shift?
What Did You Notice?
This practice is deceptively simple but incredibly effective. The more you check in with yourself, the more self-aware you become. And self-awareness is the foundation of great leadership.
We’d love to hear your reflections. Share your experience in the comments or message me—what did you notice? How does this shift the way you think about leadership?
Leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aware. Every moment is a chance to locate yourself, adjust, and lead with greater clarity.
🔎 So, where are you right now?
Photo by Alexey Demidov on Unsplash
